How did your New Year start? Mine has been a wild ride so far. Family drama on the 1st day of the year. That settled. Then on the night of January 2nd, I had a dream.
It was one of those dreams. There were at least three layers and I moved through one into another and then another. When I finally hit what seemed the end of the inner story, I knew it was not a dream and I was jarred awake by what I found waiting in the shadows of my sleep. It was shortly after 1am, just a couple of nights ago that I woke out of a very deep place, walked out to the computer and wrote her story. This is the story of Nn’Kaa in her own words. Her voice, just as I recorded it onto the page.
My nam is Nn’kaa and I am remembering. I was in a big house in the desert. It was not a desert ouse, but a wood built ouse. i was built of whole trees laid on side. I had neve see hoise like dat befo.
The man John gooman was the owner of de ouse. Yo know him actor i this now. He was other life then.
I who you know as Bonnie was dreaming about another sleep and Jon gooma, recognize her as de person of Nn’ Kaa. He look at me in my dreamtime as Bonnie and say, same short neck, and other tings about me that he knows and say yes, you are Nn’Kaa, from that other life.
John gooman left the house. I was not fast enough. I hear bagpipes and know the Scots were coming. They were at the big door. De front door. I went down the back stair, thinking I might escape still and found many men waiting dere. It was not Scots. they were Nazi, in uniform.
The main guy, he was sitting in a chaur. Like he was waiting at the back door to bloack anyone who would escape dat way. Only one man was sitting. All others were standing. One young uniformed man stepped forward tak control of me. The sitting man said, “We have been waiting for you”. And he laughed an ugly laugh. And then they all laugh. Ther was much far n me for they wanted to hurt me.
And den I don’t want to remember notin. It was too bad because I was a woman.
Early in the evening I had been overcome with a stomach issue. It was one of those rare and extreme cases where you think there may be explosions at both ends. That’s all I’m going to say about that. I was however, trying to figure out what in the world I had eaten that would come back at me so viciously. Nothing came to mind and I asked, “what in the world is this all about”. I was fine one minute and violently ill the next. After a bit I was better and later when I laid down for bed, my stomach seemed okay, if not perfectly fine.
And then, during the night I had the dream. Sometimes at night I remember going to something I call night school. Once I remember meeting up with others who were going through divorce. This was something different.
I dreamed I was visiting with John Goodman. We were reclining on some sort of lounge chair. Shyly, tentatively, I reached up and over to kiss him on the cheek. I kissed him on the cheek again. He took no notice of me. I tried a third time and the scene shifted quickly to another layer.
He was making a birthday card for a woman. I learned that I know that woman. Well, I had met her at a class and was reading a book she wrote. The book was about past lives that were able to be documented.
JG thought he might be falling in love. He held deep feelings for her. He told me that he was 55 and had very little in his life that he cared about. Nothing in his life had much meaning or value to him, but he thought that perhaps he had finally found true love.
I told him I’m 56 and I have so much in my life. It is so full and it’s all about the relationships I have. I could die satisfied right now and know that everything is as it should be. It has already been a life well lived. Not that I’m wanting to leave this life yet at all. It’s just that every day is a good day.
An abrupt and sudden shift to another layer. I was in a large house built of logs. There was danger at hand. There was chaos and people were on the move. John Goodman was there. It was his house and he had to leave… fast.
Suddenly, I found myself alone in the house. I heard bagpipes playing outside and ran to the front door. I reached to open it and then knew that it was not the rescuers I expected. I took the back stairs. I can still see it so clearly, I could draw you a picture. Down one flight to a landing, turning a corner to the left and down the second flight to the lower level. What waited for me there was straight out of my worst nightmares.
I have known for a long time that I had a life experience with Nazis that did not end well. My assumption had always been that I had been Jewish. Never had I thought of anything like this.
So, I had asked why the stomach trouble and I got my answer. This was a cleansing, clearing event. I and Nn’Kaa choose not to remember details. We do recognize the horror of the situation and are working to clear it from my body, then, now, and on all levels.