When you find what you need to move forward…
For the last few days, I’ve had a sore hip. It has confounded the chiropractor no end and is a definite pain in my rear. This is a pain that has bothered me off and on for nearly two years. At times, it’s so sore it wakes me from my sleep. I even changed chiropractors because the last one was not able to make any difference in the pain level.
But my wonderful doctor kept going and finally, together with confirmation from Ruby, we found that the problem was residual from another lifetime. Apparently, I was kicked in the hip by a horse and what I “saw” was the hip was pretty much shattered. In times past that would mean a life sentence of pain or even death, if it didn’t heal well.
So, I’ve been working on it consciously. Reminding myself, “that was then and this is now.” That has worked better and better. But every once in awhile, my hip really begins to get sore. Over the weekend and on Monday, it was beginning to ache beyond mild pain and on Monday night I even took an OTC painkiller. That’s unusual for me, but I did it so I could get some sleep.
In my experience, pain is a cry for you to pay attention, so I rarely try to cover it up. But I believe in using all the tools available and I needed to sleep. So, the next day I was up to going on a little mission to see what the pain was REALLY about.
Out in the hot tub, I began my journey. Once I had quieted myself, I asked what it was that the pain was telling me. What’s the story? Out of the blue, a beautiful leopard Appaloosa stepped up right in front of me.
So, I’m thinking, okay I know it was a horse that kicked me. What’s the rest of the story? I tried to look beyond the horse in front of me and the horse stepped closer. Then, the horse told me what I did… and didn’t want to hear. The thoughts raced through my head. I had been cocky while working with that horse. I was all wrapped up in knowing what I was doing. Not paying attention. I was disrespectful and was not listening to the horse. And he nailed me.
I have an idea that this event in the other life happened about the same age as I am now, but there’s more to it. I’ve recognized my own dismissiveness of others lately. Not of the people, but what’s opening to them on their own path.
Of course, I’d never show anything of my disrespect to them. That would not be polite. Or kind. But I had the thoughts. They sprang right out of my own little ego. OUCH. That hurt ~ them and me.
So, I was being cocky. Thinking that my way is better. Not out loud, but that fleeting thought was there.
So it looks like I’ve found a reason for the pain and now my hip seems good to go. I’ve told you before that I’m my own lab rat, so we’ll see. I’ll let you know. So I uncovered a rather ugly and embarrassing part of myself, but I learned from it.
Whatever has come about on this earth, I have had a part in it. The good, the bad and the ugly, I have had a hand in it. I recognize this and take responsibility for it. Individually and as part of the whole of humanity, I take responsibility and continue working to clean up the mess I’ve helped make.
Not only did I HAVE a pain in my butt, I was the pain in my butt. And when you find what you need to move forward… you’ll let go of the pain and the illness.